Lesson Learned

There are a lot of things I miss about being at school and teaching, but one of the things I miss the most is seeing my school family. Y'all, these people are amazing. You need a hug? Their arms are wide open. Advice? They've got a story. A laugh? They have a million to share! Seriously, I miss these people. A few Fridays ago Amelia Grace and I got to hang out with some of them!

Remember this picture?

Well, here we are now!

It's so wonderful sharing stories of our little loves and the chance to see them grow up together:-)

BUT, before we even made it to this wonderful playdate we stopped by the school to visit with a few others. A sweet friend of mine was holding AG while we were all just catching up when I noticed the tell-tale yellow on her dress. Mommas know what I'm talking about. That lovely mustard yellow that signals a poop explosion. Awesome. 

I quickly grabbed AG away from Teri in hopes that she didn't spread the wealth. Luckily she hadn't! Not so luckily was the fact that I didn't have a spare outfit. Little miss had used that one the weekend before when we were in Winston Salem and I had forgotten to replace it. Well, I was not about to let this spoil our coffee date, so what's a girl to do? Put your baby (clad only in her diaper, mind you) and race over to Walmart to pick something up. Mother of the year right here, folks. She was not the least bit fazed and fit right in with the other kooks at the Wally World;-)

Needless to say there are now TWO spare outfits in the diaper bag. 

Lesson learned.

Life is Good

I haven't really done a "life lately" post in a long while, so I figure I'll go ahead and update you on the shenanigans of our world!

First of all, don't drink the water at school. . .

Going left to right, I'm due in August, Brittany is due in June, Stephanie is due in April, and Rachel is due any day now! And our principal had a baby this past December. Gotta love this season of life:-)

Speaking of babies, how precious is this sweet face??

Our anatomy scan went really well last week. The doctor and ultrasound tech said everything looked great and SHE seems to be growing very well. She was already 8oz (a smidge bigger than the usual 6oz they see around 18 weeks) and had the four chambers of her heart and lobes of her brain. Yay! Another relief was that she didn't have a cleft palette, which is always a concern with the presence of prednisone. Praises all around! 

David isn't a huge fan of the doctor at the high-risk OB, but I love him. He's a straight shooter who doesn't try to hide anything. David hates the fact that he has NO bedside manner. I love the fact that he lets me come back whenever I want just to ease my mind. So, we will be going back in a week and a half to just make sure everything is still going well because the 20 week mark is around the time they think Emerson passed. We would appreciate any and all prayers over the next couple of months as we navigate this scary (for us) time period.

Thursday included a special delivery to my classroom. . .

Beautiful pink roses from my daddy to celebrate our baby girl! And Friday included two more gifts for this spoiled girl. . .

To say her grandparents are wrapped around her teeny, tiny finger would be a very accurate statement. Thanks, Mama and Daddy!

Life is good:-)

Support System

I have an incredible support system. I mean, really, they rock. 

my school family

It continues to amaze me how much like family these people have become. Everyone from my team to my department to the people I randomly see in the hallways or at staff meetings.  I am so thankful for the laughter they provide in the stressful moments.

our church family

We were so fortunate to find a church in which we can be ourselves and know no one will judge us for that. We have found a church full of selfless people interested in doing all they can to help us grow and learn. That's a good feeling.

our neighbors

Well, at least some of them;-) You know our feelings on the Californian crazies next door BUT the rest of our neighbors are the bomb.com. They offer us support and love in a laid-back, humorous way. 

our friends

Our friends are much like our neighbors, just a bit more spread out. These are the people we can totally be ourselves with and know we will not be judged.

our families

These are the people who have seen us at our absolute worst, but still stick around. Both sides of our families are full of incredible people who continue to love us in the best way they know how.

I told you they rocked.

Tiny Tag

The loss of a baby is difficult at any stage. The farther you are into a pregnancy the closer the attachment you have made with this blessing, thus making the loss that more traumatizing. One of my biggest fears through all of this is that she would be forgotten. It would be easy for that to happen without the constant reminder of her through her presence. In my heart I know this is a silly little fear, but it still nags at me. I've struggled with a way to keep her with me, so imagine how overjoyed I was to receive this perfect gift from some of my work family.

It's called a "tiny tag" and it's perfect.

There are two tags on the necklace; one is the letter "E" and the other is a small heart. As soon as I saw it I knew it was exactly what I was searching for. Isn't it wonderful when people know just what you need before you do?

Needless to say I put it on the day they gave it to me and it hasn't come off since. It may seem silly but it is a comfort to me to be able to reach up and finger the tags as a reminder. She will also be in my heart, but now she is close to me as well.

Word of God

The Power of Prayer

This morning I was sitting in my classroom trying to get organized for the shortened day (they sent us home early because of foul weather!) when a sweet teacher friend of mine came in. She said she had an odd request and asked if she could pray for me. She said the Lord had placed it on her heart as she was walking past my classroom. I was so overcome with emotion I could barely stutter out a yes. This wonderful lady prayed beautiful words over me on a morning a really needed them.

Yesterday we got a baby magazine in the mail. I managed to get off all the email subscriptions, but had completely forgotten about the two magazines I had already signed up for in anticipation of Emerson's arrival. I didn't get the mail yesterday afternoon, so I found it this morning waiting for me. All I could think about all morning was how much I missed her. My friend's words were exactly what I needed to hear.

This morning was an amazing reminder of the power of prayer. God knew in that exact moment exactly what I needed to hear so he placed it on her heart to comfort me. I am constantly in awe of the wondrous way He works.

Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

-Mercyme

Each Day

So how are you doing?

This is the most common question I've been asked. The answer?

Each day gets a little better.

And that's true. With each day I am able to talk about something new. It's less painful to talk about and I've been able to share more. 

Today, I was able to talk with a sweet friend of mine at work about being pregnant. She recently found out that after years of trying she and her husband will be blessed with their first later this year. I am so happy that she will get to feel the joy and excitement that I was fortunate enough to feel for a few months. 

Yesterday, I was able to say her name for the first time in conversation. I know that sounds silly, but I've just been referring to her as "her" or "the baby". It was too painful to say the name that we loved so much. It was difficult, but just as each day gets a little easier, each time I say it will hurt a little less.

I can now look at my belly without intense feelings of emotion. For the first few days I was at home I couldn't look down. I wore big, baggy sweatshirts so I didn't have to see it. It may sound ridiculous but it was so hard to come to terms with her not being there visible through that bump. I'm becoming more comfortable in my clothes again and I don't feel the need to hide as much.

So, yea, each day gets a little easier. Three weeks ago I couldn't fathom doing any of the above. Two weeks ago it was a pipe dream. One week ago I saw it in the future. Today I am able to do these things with the strength He has given me. It hasn't been easy by any stretch of the imagination, but the knowledge that I am never alone is such a comfort. All things work for our good, and that constant reminder has stuck with me through this. He strengthened me to complete those things and He will strengthen me as I continue to seek peace and healing.

Fear not, for I am with you;  be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you,  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

-Isaiah 41:10 

A Warm Welcome Back

Today was my first day back, and I couldn't have asked for a better day.

My students welcomed me with hugs and cheers. 

Not to mention they listened better today than they've done since the beginning of the school year!

My work family helped make my life easier by continually offering to help me with odds and ends.

My admin team checked on me to see how I was doing.

Many offered their condolences and prayers.

All in all, it was a successful day back. Now, please excuse me while I nap from sheer exhaustion of being back in the swing of things!

 

Lessening Burdens

If you know me then you know I don't do well giving up control of things. The oldest child and Type-A personality in me doesn't like to hand over things. I want to have my hand in everything. This experience has taught me to let go of a lot.

From the moment I told my colleagues what happened, they took control of all my work responsibilities. While there are many benefits to being a teacher, easily taking time off is not one of them. My students cannot just sit there and wait for my return like in other careers. I’ve been so blessed in that I’ve been able to step away and take time to heal while others have picked up my slack.

This has been the same case at church. I volunteer as part of the kid’s ministry and share responsibility with another woman. The weekend we were in the hospital both David and I were scheduled to serve at church. She has stepped up in such a beautiful way and removed the stresses that we felt at not being able to serve and leaving others hanging. Not to mention all the wonderful volunteers who have come forth to lessen any burdens we may feel.

Letting go of these responsibilities would have been a challenge for me in any normal situation, but in this one I had no choice. Stepping back now and realizing what these people have done for us brings tears of gratitude to my eyes. Without them we would be fifteen steps behind where we are now in our healing. They have all reminded us in different little ways to step back and take care of ourselves.

We are immensely thankful for these people and pray that one day we can lessen their burdens in the same way they have lessened ours.

Thankful Thursday-For You

And I wonder, would I give my life
Could I make that sacrifice
If it came down to it
Could I take the bullet, I would
Yes I would, for you

-Keith Urban

I have much to be thankful for this week, as I do every week. Here is a list of all I am thanking God for today!

football season

It's backkkkkkkkk!

my hubby
His patience and support in the first few weeks of school have been absolutely incredible. I am so thankful for him!


my students
Their senses of humor and positive outlooks on life remind me not to take things so seriously.

co-workers
If it were not for these fabulous people my life would be a heck of a lot crazier! I'm so thankful for their support and realistic attitudes about life.

4 day work weeks
I think we can all get on board with this one! 

What are you thankful for this week?? 

Thankful Thursday-Alive!

Alive! Alive! Look what Mercy’s overcome; Death has lost and Love has won
Alive! Alive! Hallelujah, Risen Lord, the only One I fall before
I am His because He is alive.

-Natalie Grant

It's been a few weeks since I've been able to do a Thankful Thursday post and I think I am long overdue! Here are a few things I am thanking the Lord for this week:

modern medicine

It is amazing what God can do through the healing hands of doctors and the medicine they prescribe to us. I have seen many close to me (including myself!) be healed of illnesses that years ago would have killed us. I am so grateful for this!!

time with family and friends

We have been blessed to have the opportunity to spend time with both sides of family and all sorts of close friends recently. I cannot wait for sweet, sweet summertime when I can stay past 8 to hang out;-) 

my incredible hubby

To put it bluntly, my hubby is a rockstar! He is always so selfless and giving with his time and efforts, but especially when it comes to seeing my family. He helped clean my parent's house and did the dishes after brunch so that I could spend time with them. Did I hit the jackpot or what?!?

 community volunteers

Without these people we would have never been able to conduct our state testing! A HUGE thanks to all the community members who donated their time to helping us out.

co-workers

Anyone who teaches (or knows a teacher) knows this is a cuh-ray-zeee time of year. My co-workers have been a wonderful breath of fresh air to remind me not to freak (as I am known to do thanks to my ridiculous Type-A personality). 

What are you thankful for this week??