A Spirit of Gratitude

When I first started this blog I regularly posted things I was grateful for. The items on the weekly lists varied from heat on cold mornings to sweet excited puppy greetings to lazy evenings in with David. I tried hard to think of different items, but often had repeaters because they meant so much to me. I got away from that habit and in turn got away from thinking of things I was routinely grateful for. 

Fast forward to earlier this year when I read Ann Voskamp's One Thousand Gifts. It was a beautifully written book full of poetic musings from Voskamp and while it took me a while to get through (too much of her writing at one time hurt my brain!), I am very glad I did. I was able to take away from it the concept of "eucharisteo" and started to pause more in my day for moments of thankfulness.

Fast forward even more to present day when I am once again struggling to be grateful for my many blessings. I find it easy to be thankful when I am exposed to the less fortunate, but am not as quick to lift my arms in praise when caught up in the day to day. I find it hard to be thankful for a toddler's temper tantrum until I see a friend post on social media about her child who is so physically and mentally delayed this child will never lift her head on her own. And I'm complaining about my perfectly healthy child?!? Shameful.

Instead of allowing myself to get caught in the day to day I am going to be taking the time to write down 3-5 things/people/moment/events/etc I am grateful for every day. I am asking for your prayers to keep my mind and heart clear and focused on the Lord's blessings as I do this because we must remember. . .

Giving Thanks

Every year we have much to be thankful for, but this year has brought extra joy by the name of Amelia Grace. 

It's hard to believe this little turkey is 4 months old now (post coming soon!) and showing off every bit of her unique personality. We are not just thankful for our precious gift, but also for the family we get to share her with! Wednesday found us visiting the Mobleys and enjoying our first delicious meal of the year. We even managed to convince David's brother, John, to hold her! 

Thursday morning we woke up and headed to Winston Salem to see my family and chow down on another delicious meal. I think someone counted and we ended up with 20 people at my grandparent's house for our very last Thanksgiving there before they sell the house and move into something smaller. 

Both meals filled our tummies and our hearts. 

Thankful

This past Sunday our wonderful pastor spoke to us from Romans 12:1-2. 

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

His sermon focused on God us giving up on the things of this world and to trust God through every moment of our lives, not just the good ones. He urged us to hand everything over to God and trust His plan for us. This spoke deeply into our hearts as we go through some things (more on that another day). As he closed the sermon he challenged us to ponder five things we are thankful for in our lives. This is something I used to do every Thursday when I first started blogging. I'm not ready to take up that public torch again, but I do want to share the five things that immediately came to my mind on Sunday:

1. David and our marriage

Man, oh, man do I love that boy. I would be absolutely lost without his love, his challenges, his humor. . . well, pretty much everything about him. He makes me a better me.

2. Our family and friends

If it were not for these Godly people and their love and support who knows where we'd be today.

3. Our health

I think it's very easy to take health for granted, but I refuse to do that. I am so thankful that we are healthy and we can continue to keep ourselves that way. I am also very thankful for the doctors and nurses who make that possible.

4. Freedom

This is such a broad topic but I am so thankful for the freedom to worship our wonderful God, the freedom to go to work, the freedom to wear what I want, the freedom to come and go as I please, the freedom to speak up when I want, and so on. It's easy to forget what a luxury this is if it's all we've ever known.

5. Daisy

It may sound ridiculous, but I am thankful for that spoiled little pup. She has a sixth sense about when I need a snuggle and when I need company. Shet is such a comfort to me when I'm down.

What are you thankful for??

Inaugural Trip to NoDa

A few (okay, more than a few) Saturdays ago. The weather had been absolutely despicable for the past few days and I was itching to try something new. I'd heard a lot about an area in Charlotte called NoDa and proposed the idea of heading there to David. He was willing to do anything he thought would make me happy, so we began to put the plan into motion. A few phone calls later and we had a few close friends joining us.

We decided on supper at Cabo Fish Taco. Kelley and Kellie had been there multiple times and said it was good choice. We attempted reservations, but were told they didn't take them. Due to our large party (8 people total), we ended up with a wait. Not a big deal. We figured it would happen and made the most of it by visiting and catching up. 

As our 30-minute wait quickly approached an hour our patience was no longer present. Apparently the only table that could accommodate us had a group who just wanted to chat. Wouldn't have been a huge issue if we weren't waiting in the freezing cold! Anywho, we were finally seated and were not disappointed.Supper was fantastic. There are no words to describe the stellarness of the tacos, burritos, salsa, etc. Even my carnivore-prone brother was pleased with his steak tacos. It was all gone too quickly for any pictures (remember that hour-long wait?).

We then headed over to Solstice Tavern to visit some more (no holding a table for us!). We caught the end of the Bobcats game before this Cinderella started turning into a pumpkin. Before we headed back to suburbia we decided to stop by Amelie's Bakery for a treat. When I asked for NoDa suggestions from the Twitter world Amelie's came up multiple times, so I knew we had to make a pit stop. The cool thing? They are open 24/7! Despite knowing this I was still surprised at the long line and 20 minute way that greeted us. Once again, the wait was well worth it. We ended up with an eclair, a Neapolitan, and a salted caramel brownie that were all devoured on the car ride home. Too fast for pictures again.

It was so nice to casually enjoy the evening without rushing around. To enjoy the company of those around us without worrying about the time and the responsibilities of the world. We were able to rejuvenate and relax with some of the people we love most in this world. God has created a wonderful community for us to enjoy and for that I am grateful.

A few pictures from the evening. . .

Me and my love

Kellie, Lauren, Kelley

A nifty picture Kelley took with the panoramic option on Kellie's phone

Kellie and Kelley

Ashley, Bird, and the ghost of Brian

Tiny Tag

The loss of a baby is difficult at any stage. The farther you are into a pregnancy the closer the attachment you have made with this blessing, thus making the loss that more traumatizing. One of my biggest fears through all of this is that she would be forgotten. It would be easy for that to happen without the constant reminder of her through her presence. In my heart I know this is a silly little fear, but it still nags at me. I've struggled with a way to keep her with me, so imagine how overjoyed I was to receive this perfect gift from some of my work family.

It's called a "tiny tag" and it's perfect.

There are two tags on the necklace; one is the letter "E" and the other is a small heart. As soon as I saw it I knew it was exactly what I was searching for. Isn't it wonderful when people know just what you need before you do?

Needless to say I put it on the day they gave it to me and it hasn't come off since. It may seem silly but it is a comfort to me to be able to reach up and finger the tags as a reminder. She will also be in my heart, but now she is close to me as well.

Thanks in Threes

It is easy to get caught up in the "woe is me" trap when grieving. I've noticed myself going down that slippery slope at times. This is a place when hate reigns instead of the love that heals. I've learned that despite how dark the days may seem there is still light somewhere. We still have so much to be thankful for. 

A sweet friend of mine suggested that I take the time each day to thank God for three things. Some days the items may come easier than others. Some days the items may be as simple as the roof over our heads. And some days we may grasp to find items, but they will be there.

It seems so basic, but I think this will have a profound effect on me during the healing process. I need to remember to be grateful for what I do have, and not lament over what I do not. The temptations of this world lead us to pine for more, but what about what we do have. 

I know that David and I have been immensely blessed in our marriage, our church, family, friends, etc. I could write for days on all that we have. So why do we so quickly wish for more? That is an answer found deep within each and every one of our hearts. 

We assumed that once we got past the first trimester of our pregnancy, we were "safe". We did not once consider anything could happen that would harm our sweet girl. We took for granted the blessing that was bestowed upon us.  My heart wonders how many others do the same thing? I pray that all those who are pregnant take a moment each day to thank Him for the miraculous blessing He has given them. I also pray that despite how crazy children may make parents (I've been a nanny, I can confidently say children will make you crazy) that those parents take a moment to thank Him for the blessing that they are.

This is a roundabout way of saying that instead of taking all we have for granted, I'm going to be more conscious about thanking Him for what we do have. Join me.

What three things are you thankful for?

Lessening Burdens

If you know me then you know I don't do well giving up control of things. The oldest child and Type-A personality in me doesn't like to hand over things. I want to have my hand in everything. This experience has taught me to let go of a lot.

From the moment I told my colleagues what happened, they took control of all my work responsibilities. While there are many benefits to being a teacher, easily taking time off is not one of them. My students cannot just sit there and wait for my return like in other careers. I’ve been so blessed in that I’ve been able to step away and take time to heal while others have picked up my slack.

This has been the same case at church. I volunteer as part of the kid’s ministry and share responsibility with another woman. The weekend we were in the hospital both David and I were scheduled to serve at church. She has stepped up in such a beautiful way and removed the stresses that we felt at not being able to serve and leaving others hanging. Not to mention all the wonderful volunteers who have come forth to lessen any burdens we may feel.

Letting go of these responsibilities would have been a challenge for me in any normal situation, but in this one I had no choice. Stepping back now and realizing what these people have done for us brings tears of gratitude to my eyes. Without them we would be fifteen steps behind where we are now in our healing. They have all reminded us in different little ways to step back and take care of ourselves.

We are immensely thankful for these people and pray that one day we can lessen their burdens in the same way they have lessened ours.

Count Your Blessings

It's very easy to get caught up in the "want, want, want" mentality that surrounds this time of year. We very easily fall into the trap of lusting after things we do not have instead of being thankful for what we do have. I know that no matter how hard I try, the greedy Grinch in me comes out at some point every year to make an appearance. This year before that green monster comes, I'm going to recognize what I DO have and how grateful I am for it.

an amazing husband

I am so grateful for David. There really are no words for wonderful he is to me. My eyes have been opened to this even more in recent weeks and I hope that they never close to these things. He has been angelic with my pregnancy moodiness and probably deserves sainthood for all that he has to put up with from me these days! 

a healthy pregnancy

We have been infinitely blessed by how smoothly things have gone thus far. With my kidney mess there have been lots of opportunities for issues, but we have been very blessed.

support

I have a great support team in my family, friends, church peeps, etc. Without their love and prayers I would not be where I am right now.

comfort

So many do not have a home to go to or a warm meal at night. I am fortunate enough to have both, and much more. 

What are you thanking God for today??