The past three weeks have been a surreal experience. This sweet baby girl has made our lives infinitely better in such a short time, and for that we are thankful. All the months of prayers and have blessed us way beyond our wildest imaginations. But to be honest, it was super tough at first. Don't get me wrong, Amelia Grace has been such a wonderful baby (minus the reflux episodes during the witching hour) and watching her grow has filled my heart in a way I didn't know was possible. In fact all the toughness really has nothing to do with her; it comes from remembering Emerson.
I've been struggling to put this post into words, because I don't know what to say. As we drove home from the hospital David and I talked about the importance of keeping our lines of communication open and continuing to talk about everything. That led to one of us (I can't remember who) bringing up how weird it was to be bringing home our baby girl. Last time we went to the hospital to have a baby, that precious little one didn't come home with us. All the emotions of being in the hospital, seeing some of our old nurses, talking with the doctors brought both of us right back to last January.
I mentioned a few times here how anxious I was with this pregnancy and how scared we both were about everything. There was more than one visit to the doctor that was scheduled in haste because I "just didn't feel right". Thankfully, there was also more than one time the doctors hooked us up and we heard her strong little heartbeat reassuring us.
Since we've gotten home all those feelings of anxiety that came from comparing the two experiences have disappeared. Instead they have been replaced with indescribable joy and happiness. There are moments of "what if Emerson. . .", but those moments don't cause overwhelming sadness anymore. Instead we are focusing on enjoying every little moment with Amelia Grace knowing that she has a big sister watching out for her every step of the way.
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