Wednesday, July 3, 2013


A few months ago I stumbled upon a pin on Pinterest:

I liked it so much I made it the background on my phone. It serves as a constant reminder not to let my struggle define who I am.

When we lost Emerson I felt lost myself. I fought to figure out who I was and where I was going now that my life plan had been thrown completely off. The good news is that I have an amazing husband who kept me stable when I felt anything but. The amazing news is that I serve a God who did not desert me at any point in my struggle.

I very easily could have become "that girl whose baby died" or "that teacher who was never the same after she lost her baby". We could have become "that couple that ruined parties with their depression" or "that family that fixates on death". But we didn't. Trust me, the temptation was there, in a big way. It would have been so much easier just to allow myself to stay holed up in my house instead of forcing myself out again. It would have been simple to make a point to constantly bring it up, or to direct every conversation back to me. Or to constantly remind people that six months after the fact it still sucks.

Instead we have decided not to let our loss become all that we are. We are still Lauren and David, a teacher and an engineer. Members of Hope Church, a daughter and a son. We are so much more than just parents who lost our baby. That is most definitely a big part of who we are, but it's not all that we are.

Our struggle is not our identity.


  1. I have this pinned, too! It is an awesome reminder. Our struggles and past help define who we are, and the strengths we have, but that is not all we are.

  2. Wow, this resonated with me so much! I just sent it to my fiance at work for his morning inspirational message.

    I failed nursing school about a year and a half ago, 5 months before graduation. (I had the opportunity to go back but I didn't want to). I cried for a year. I was depressed for a year. I thought I would never get back to the real Ginny. But I did. Because I realized that I didn't want it to define who I was. I wasn't a failure, it just wasn't meant to be for me. I wasn't destined to be a nurse, especially because I secretely HATED it. So, I completely understand. Even though you went through a much more difficult struggle than I did, we all face our own challenges and we should always remember to not let it become who we are and define our life.



  3. You have such a positive outlook on things. It's very inspiring! I hope yall have a great 4th of July!!

  4. Beautiful!! Great outlook on things!