What They Don't Tell You. . .

What they don't tell you when you lose a baby is the continued reminders. I am talking about the people who don't know. The magazine subscriptions you already ordered. The email lists you are on. The coupons and free samples that just keep coming. 

From the minute I returned to checking emails, I started removing myself from as many lists as were in my inbox. I went to each website individually and went through the tedious process of unsubscribing. The worst part was when they asked why. How do you say, "well, because I am no longer pregnant and your constant reminders are like salt in an open wound" nicely? 

Then the magazines kept coming. I had forgotten the two subscriptions I ordered, but was quickly reminded when I checked the mail a week after I got home. The headlines of "Bringing Baby Home" and "How Long Should You Breastfeed?" sickened me. 

There was also the time we saw a neighbor out who didn't know what happened. How he kept casually, or so he thought, looking at my stomach. How he clearly wondered where was the bump and baby I was supposed to be carrying. The hard conversation David had to have with him when I walked away.

And what is pouring in now, more than ever, are the free samples and coupons from companies who had my due date recorded in their system. The congratulatory packets that includes freebies in celebration. 

That is what they don't tell you about.